The old man who worked at a lighthouse had a limited amount of oil to light the light that kept passing ships from crashing on the rocks. One evening a man who lived nearby asked to borrow some of this precious oil to light his house. The old man gave him some oil to keep him out of the dark. Another evening, a stranded stranger begged for minutes for a little oil so that he could continue on his way in the dark. The old man took pity on the stranded traveler and gave him as much oil as he needed. The next night, the old man was awakened by a mother banging violently on his door. The mother lived alone with her children and had gone without oil at night, she needed some oil to feed and care for her children. The old man gave her some oil too. Soon all the oil ran out and the light went out. That night and the nights that followed dozens of ships ran aground, crashed into rocks and hundreds of people lost their lives.

The old man's primary duty was to keep the light of this lantern burning, his weaknesses and neglect of his true duty was irresponsible and negligent...

Every person has priorities and plans for their life. If your priorities are not in your plans, other people's priorities will take over the roles in your life. If you don't have a conscious and aware thought system about the highest goals of your life, it will be as easy as pulling a hair out of a stick of butter for others to rule you.

If we cannot be the director and screenwriter of our own lives, someone else writes and someone else directs, and we are left to play a role.

Learning to say no to things that are not obligatory will bring respect and love into your life, and will provide you with the opportunity to realize yourself and make time for the things that will give meaning to your life.

Don't be afraid to say no! Saying yes to things you don't want will cause you to disconnect from yourself and lose your self-esteem. Direct the time and energy you give to other people's requests when you don't want to, to the life goals you really want to do and do them, that's exactly what effective and successful people do.

Don't misunderstand what I'm saying, it's not that you shouldn't help people, on the contrary, everyone should help everyone, just put your priorities at the top of your plans and organize them.

Each one of us has a different reason for being and coming to life. And we all have different talents inside of us, waiting to emerge. We are here to fulfill our most sacred reason for being as human beings and at the same time to crown our own existence, to add value to the lives of the people around us. We need to add more of ourselves to our work and life and focus on what we are good at.

As İsmet Özel said: "Those whose priorities and plans and life goals are blurred will undoubtedly get stuck in the detours of their vehicles. Their feet will get entangled in the net they weave for the fish, and their hands will get caught in the trap they set for the rabbit."

Or it will be like this: They will rejoice so much that they have set their nets in the water, that they have set a trap, that they will esteem their tools of the hunt so precious that the catching of a fish in their nets and the catching of a rabbit in their traps will not attract the attention they deserve. Even after they have caught the fish, even after they have caught the rabbit, they will be busy with their nets and traps."

Focus on your purpose, your priorities, your raison d'être and concentrate only on this. Don't be afraid to say "no" to everything and everyone that will stop you on your path, that will reduce your strength, that will lengthen your path, that will create obstacles on the path of your existence on the path to self-realization, and politely say "no".

In a book I read many years ago, there was an exercise technique called "learning to say no", and I would like to teach it to you now. But you should do this exercise for at least 21 days until it becomes a real habit: Ask a member of your family or a very close friend. Just for 5 minutes or so, let him ask you to do dozens of things, even nonsensical things, one by one, and each time, more and more determinedly, say "no!"... "No"... "No"... "No"... "No"...

Mukaddes Pekin Başdil

Researcher-Author

Source: Denizli Haber