Another summer flew by quickly and mercilessly. I didn't even realize what had happened and how it had gone by, just like the years that had flown by. It's as if all the glimmers of hope have been extinguished, along with the golden rays of the glorious summer sun. I loved autumn so much, but what is this gloom this time?

I am in Akyaka once again. I sat on the edge of Azmak, my eyes lingered on the reeds on the opposite shore.

There is no way to stop the tears that involuntarily flow down my face. This is not about me, this is about something beyond me, about my soul. Tears of the soul. As if it's bleeding. And I feel its chilling warmth inside me, drop by drop, as if it is seeping into me.

The feeling of not being familiar and not belonging anywhere. The feeling of not belonging here, on this planet. It is a great feeling of loneliness and even an insane pain, as deadly as Hurricane Katrina that ravaged and swallowed you up, so silent that no road leads to it.

The contrast between the clarity of the sun's last redness against the diamond-like sparkle of Azmak and the mad exuberance of my soul seems to make me lose myself...

The noise of my mind seems to be blessed by this serene energy. An eel gliding through the moss, its joy that belongs nowhere but everywhere, and its playfulness with the plants it nibbles on catches my eye. The flow of life mingling with the flow of the stream and the silent signs sent to me; these are divine gifts. The traces left by that great creator everywhere and in every particle. How come I don't feel like I belong anywhere? What arrogance is this? When everywhere and in everything there is a piece of Him, a fragrance, a color...

The eel is nothing but moss. The water in the stream is not different from the star in the sky. There is no judgment here. No duck judges the other. They don't judge me either. I am as I am with all my madness.

They are so judgment-free, it's as if I woke up in an instant. I was the eel. I was swimming with it. I was the Azmak. I was flowing with it. I was the redness of the setting sun. I was even one of the flies on the eucalyptus tree.

I must have begun to open myself up completely, because now I finally began to hear the voices of a thousand different birds. Even the earthy smell of leaves that had fallen to the ground from the heat of late summer. The smell of earth everywhere, a little bit of the moon washed by the setting sun. It's my smell, the smell of the soil that I was molded from. Wow, how good I smelled...

The smell that has always been there, but that I have never recognized. How can it be that after all these years one has never heard the ripe and delicate scent of the earth in one's own body...

This is the sense of wholeness that we ignore. The unconsciousness that everything we see is a part of us. The unawareness that every being on the planet, the lion, the horse, the bird, every breathing grass, garbage, insect, stone, mountain, sea is synchronized with us. Ahh! If only we knew that we are the same energy! We would expand together and tremble together with the harmony of thousands of atomic fusions. If we had the awareness to embrace each and every being, to realize that they are not different from our own being, because we vibrate in the same 99.99% space and field, we would be able to perceive the feeling that we are part of something bigger, without any reserve or need.

Then what loneliness would I be talking about? Of what loneliness? What kind of loneliness can there be? What kind of feeling of not belonging? Loneliness should actually be an experience of being aware and being present and one at every moment. However, if there is no awareness of this oneness, human beings do not feel belonging. If he knew his connection to everything, would he still feel empty and incomplete?

If you only knew the intense joy of realization and the intoxication of freedom from the illusion of the universal reality and the feeling of being lost in universal love! You would thank the Creator, the Greatest One, for this miraculous gift and vibrate with gratitude, just like the feeling of joy and exuberance you experience in every particle of your body and soul...

A new era has begun for me, for you and for all of us. It is another cycle. Either we will all meet together in universal love, or we will all come together and flow together... There is no other way! Period.....!!!

Mukaddes Pekin Başdil

Researcher-Author

Source: Denizli Haber